Wk 4 MAC: post 1--being the board --I need it

I am the framework for everything that happens in my life was a nice reminder that I needed this week.

So, it was a hard work at work. I have been beating myself up ever since I left Friday afternoon. “Why did I get this job? What did they see in me? I have no idea what I should be doing. I don’t think I did a good job on my presentations today.” Yep, downward spiral talk.

This was in stark contrast to the presentation I did for my AR project on Tuesday night. I was knowledgeable about my subject and am a decent/conversational presenter. But I had to present four times on Friday afternoon and honestly, I felt like I was talking in jibberish. It was terrible--at least in my eyes.

But I am in control here. How can I gain back control of this situation. Luckily, we have a team meeting Monday morning where I can explain that I feel overwhelmed. Ask for feedback about where everyone thinks I went off track. Then I have a one-on-one with my boss that afternoon. I know she will listen and offer suggestions on to do better next time.

How does this relate to being the board? I can bring in the thoughts of “how fascinating” of how overwhelmed and inexperienced I am. I can include that many opportunities are being offered to me to learn about how I can be more effective in this position. Hopefully, this frame of reference will help to make for a better week.

Wk 3 Response #2 MAC--to Carrie Kleber's post

Art of Possibility chapter 7-9
I found myself less inspired by the three chapters we read this week than the previous chapters. I’m not sure why, they had good ideas and practices to offer, but they didn’t reach out and grab me. That being said, I did have a few thoughts and reactions to share.
I have often found myself in situations where downward spiral talk abounds. Quite often, I’m the one doing it. It is so easy to get caught up in the negative of a situation, that you fail to see a way out. I like the idea of stating the facts of the way things are...not the opinions, but the facts, and then figure out a way to move on. I think sometimes teachers, myself included, get stuck on the way we see a non-responsive student, and can’t do anything else but complain and be frustrated. I’m sure we could be a lot more productive if we stated the facts, and then went from there. No, it won’t be perfect, but at least we can move on.
As I read through the chapter on passion, I had to admit that I often hold back and don’t let myself fully experience the moment. I’m not sure why, perhaps I’m afraid of looking stupid, but it’s something I would like to work on. I’d like to take a chance, and discover a whole new world.
Finally, there was the idea of lighting the spark. I found the story about Ben bringing the Philharmonic Orchestra to the failing school in London to be very inspiring. It’s amazing how things can work out when we quit manipulating and instead try and let people see our vision, and in turn allowing ourselves to see someone else's vision.
MY RESPONSE
Sheryl Floyd
Carrie,
Amen. I get caught up in downward spiral talk all the time--particularly with other teachers. It's always someone else's fault! But I am generally not a negative person! I truly always try to find the positive side to things and then I like to try to find the other side to something that might need figuring out. When I surround myself with negative people, I become one of them. I hate that. Thankfully, I have removed myself from this. Maybe I will be able to light some different types of sparks in the future!

Wk 3 Response #1 MAC--helping others in need

Becky Day wrote:
I read a lot. Usually I read bestselling novels, but I have a few favorite authors. Lately, I've been reading books that have been made into movies. I'm one of those people who has to read the book before I see the movie. So last week I bought Push by Sapphire. This was the book that was made into the movie Precious. I'm only halfway through the book, and I am absolutely saddened by what has happened to the protagonist of the book in just her short sixteen years.

A short synopsis:
The protagonist, Precious Jones, has been raped repeatedly since the second grade by her own father and mother. When she was twelve she gave birth to her first child (by her father) in the middle of her kitchen, while her mother kicked her in the head for "stealing her man." The baby was born with Down's Syndrome. Now, Precious is sixteen and pregnant with her second child (also by her father). Precious cannot read or write and has been kicked out of school for being pregnant. After she gives birth to her second child, she is kicked out of her house because she told a social worker that the first child is being raised by her grandmother, not her mother, thus ending her mother's welfare money. The only refuge that Precious has is the school that she is attending to bring up her reading and writing skills so that she can eventually get her GED.

I haven't even got to the part where Precious's mother comes to the halfway house to tell her that her father died of AIDS.

I think I've always known that stuff like this happens in America. I was told in high school that one of my classmates had HIV, but the teacher obviously couldn't tell us who. So I've known for a while that the world is cruel.

So what does this have to do with anything? I promise this post isn't a book review, nor is it a push to get other people to read the book, although I do think that more people should read it and open their eyes to the injustices that are possible in our society.

I guess my point is that I hope that none of my students is ever this bad off. No one deserves the stuff that happened to the main character.

I want my child to grow up knowing that bad things happen in the world. I just hope none of those bad things happen to her.

My response:
Becky,
I had to leave teaching for these very reasons. I am not a social worker. My campus became rife with situations that I could not handle or maybe didn’t “want” to handle.

I taught a boy, “Blake,” who was one such situation that was beyond my means. He was from a single-parent home whose mother worked a double-shift at night and then slept all day. He came to class with no supplies. I gave him a binder and other things during the year. He would lose them. He would ask questions about how to do PowerPoint--in 9th grade. During the last six weeks, I finally got in touch with his mother who had never seen his report cards.

I appreciate those of you who are still helping those kids in needs. I am thankful that I didn’t have to overcome such obstacles and I can’t imagine what type of person I would be if I had to do so. Thankfully, there is help for those who want to take the opportunity to seek out the help that they need.
Sheryl Floyd

Wk 3 post #2 MAC--my journey was not alone

My AR presentation is this week--yikes! That means the end is near.

So, I can’t imagine what it will be like once this program is over. The connections I have made over the miles has far exceeded anything I could have dreamed. As Joe Bustillos keeps saying: “online learning is not solo learning.” And as we get closer to the end, what will become of those connections that have taught me so much along the way? I will be sad, no doubt, that I will miss several of those and they will drift off. Others, will probably still be Facebook friends who knows what else.

With that, I would like to thank a few of you who have really touched me and helped me out beyond belief. Currently, Carrie Kleber is my lone surviving “critical friend” who started out with me on this journey at the same time. In addition, Tim Bemiller was also a terrific group member and knowledgeable friend who was a valuable resource all along the way.

Others who have been fun to read about and “discuss with” along the way are Chuck, Marianne, Joanne, Christina, Tia and Natasha. Those names off the top of my head are regular contributors and fascinating educators that I am privileged to have known.

Finally, my two friends who had to take LOA--Jessica Cruz and Larry Harris who began with me in our MLR class--I wish the best for you and happy graduation day when that time comes for you too! If I left anyone out, please forgive me.

I could have not made this journey alone. The instructors have been beyond anything I could have wanted--telling me things I didn’t know I needed to know. And challenging...don’t even get me started. Balancing family, work and education has been very hard. But so well worth it!

wk3--publishing/leadership project part 1 of 3--ideas for publishing

Fortunately, I have presented ideas and sessions several times to large groups--at state conventions and even at national conventions. So the idea does not make me nervous. What bothers me is finding an audience that makes sense for my AR project.

The audience that would most likely be interested in my research would be other journalism teachers who are interested in convergence media. Some obvious places where this information might be well received:

JEA (Journalism Educators Association) national convention--they have two conventions each year;
TAJE (Texas Association of Journalism Educators)--state convention each October;
TCEA (Texas Computer Educators Association)--state convention each February;
SXSW(South by Southwest) Interactive (technology-related conference in Austin, TX)

If the project was to be published, I would consider “Journal of Computing in Teacher Education” or as it is now known “Journal of Digital Learning in Teacher Education.” But after looking at a variety of these journals, I am not sure that my project pertains to the audience of these journals. It also may be not be academic enough as it really has to do with a variety of media trends.

wk 3 post--MAC--The way things are

Why have I been so negative for the past two years? Why couldn’t I just have said “Rule #6?” Each school year always brings about “new beginnings.” Yet, somehow, the negative talk seems to wear me out. The downward spiral and conversations for possibility always got the best of me. It almost wishes I had stuck with it. But, I can now see a positive outcome of that situation.

I had to find what I really liked about my “present” situation. I really liked technology. I liked learning and teaching about it too. I also enjoy research and writing. I thought at first that I might go into law school. That was just too many hurdles and too costly. But the EMDT program was the answer and is the answer to “the way things are.” How can I make my present situation something amazing? I incorporated all of the new ideas and technologies into my teaching. I felt like they were cutting edge ideas and that my students would be excited as I was about all of the new, cool stuff out there.

So, maybe they weren’t. But that didn’t stop me from pursuing other avenues of my inner geeky self. I found a pathway out and grabbed it! Now the way things are --are the way things “should be.”

And finally, two passages that really spoke to me from this chapter seven were: 
“...separate our conclusions about events from our description of the event themselves until possibility opens up.” It’s really hard to do this, I realize. I need to work on this.

The other passage was, “...speaking in possibility springs from the appreciation that what we say creates a reality; how we define things sets a framework for life to unfold.” I should be more careful with my words--in particular how I speak with my children.

Week 2/MAC--response #2 Carrie's AR project

Carrie KIeber wrote:
I am happy to have complete my Action Research website to the best of my ability thus far. Even though I haven’t received any feedback on it thus far, I feel proud to have accomplished so much, and relieved to have the majority of the website completed.
I am most excited about my cycle pages. They contain the information needed to replicate my study. I was able to included lesson plans, surveys, assessments and examples that should allow someone to recreate my research.
The cycle data pages felt like a repetition of many of my AR blog entries which was a little frustrating. On the other hand, the information I had already written helped me complete these pages successfully (I hope).
I am the most nervous about my Literature Review. I have put a lot of time and effort into the review, but it is also the most academic aspect of this project, and therefore will go under greater scrutiny.
Overall I think I am in good shape with my AR project. I may have some changes to make, but I am happy to make any changes that will help my website be professional and academic.

MY RESPONSE:
Carrie,
As one of your critical friends, I am incredibly impressed with your ideas and research and cycles! I can't wait to give you feedback and to see where your work goes.

This feeling of accomplishment really almost brings this degree to closure because it seems like at the end of it all we have something huge to show for our work...not to mention "all the work" we have done in our courses. Remember that feeling of accomplishment Carrie. It is something you should reflect on when you are having one of those days...you have truly contributed to your school and our EMDT community and beyond!